Friends know that I am a huge fan of the HBO series “The Wire”. Like many hot blooded women, I found McNulty adorable but such a rascal! The way he drank the Jameson and the beer…it got me thinking that it would have saved the character some time (and money) if those two great tastes came together. I honestly never thought it possible until I attended the annual Rat Fest at the Corner Brewery.

Before I changed careers and became a teacher…before I moved to a college town…before I started following my religion again…September has always felt like the “new year” to me. The weather changes (sometimes drastically), people start buying new school clothes and there’s just a general feeling of settling into a new routine. Something else wonderful happens every fall: Oktoberfest beers start appearing at our favorite pubs!

Last weekend, Ann Arbor hosted its fifth annual Homegrown Festival. Yeah, yeah, I can hear all of the pot jokes you naughty folks are making but seriously folks, this thing is a winner.  The festival brings together farmers, gardeners, nonprofit groups, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers and brewers—all under one big tent! There was music, tons of food and a most wonderful beer tent where I am not at all ashamed to say I spent most of my time.

My friends and I, we didn’t know what to expect. I thought that they would come into the bar so fully in character such that, if a murder broke out and we demanded that they call 911 on a cell phone, they would reply, “What art thouest a phone of cell?” sending us into chaos as the shooting continued. Or perhaps they would be in period costume and throw around a lot of thous and arts and nunneries. What would it be?!?!

When I first became interested in craft beer, I immediately drifted towards hoppybeers. Then I realized that everyone liked hoppy beers and me being me, well, that justwouldn’t do. So, I started shying away from IPAs and Imperial IPAs and RyePAs (exceptRed’s Rye) and instead drinking browns and porters and stouts and fruit ales and everything in between.

The flying cars and the jetpacks never really thrilled me. I knew even before I ever stepped foot on an airplane that I would hate flying. And, hate on me if you must, but I love cars—always have and always will. Many of my childhood cartoons spoke of flying this and flying that and so to me, the magical “21^st century” never looked all that awesome. None of that stuff really spoke of the future to me.

For the longest time, I eschewed fruit beers. I’m not really sure why except that it might have started the first time I ever drank a Corona, which of course had the eponymous lime wedged into its neck. I remember thinking, “Huh! This is kinda good!” and then I realized that what was “good” was the freaking lime. (Speaking of Limes, is there a cooler dude than Harry Lime in The Third Man? I mean, that fat dude who sold no more wine before its time was spot on in that role…spot on).

Really, it was the nail polish remover smell that got me to think about beer judging. Specifically, it was the fact that I was sitting at a table with a bunch of guys and none of them could place the smell in the glass. I finally took the glass, sniffed and said, “Oh for Pete’s sake! That’s nail polish remover!”

Youth, as they say, is wasted on the young. When I was a wee lass back in 1991, a friend of mine said that she was going to something called “Lollapalooza”, featuring bands called Nine Inch Nails and Pearl Jam. Having never heard of the “Lollapalooza” or the Nine Inch Nails or the Pearl Jam, I begged off on her invitation to go with her. I also spent an inordinate amount of time debating whether that was nails like fingernails or nails like what you pounded into the wall.

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a “breakfast” person. My earliest classin college was 11:00 a.m. I about died when I was given a schedule in law school (my first “career”, if you will) and the first class was at 8:30. I really didn’t like reallife, which came with an 8:00 a.m. starting time. Now as a teacher, I find startingtimes even earlier than 8:00 and that just makes me sad. No one should have to function before about noon, in my opinion. When I take over the world, not only will everyone have summers off, but nothing important will start before 11:30 orso. It will be a wonderful world, I assure you.